Keeping positive

In previous months I've refused to give up beer and coffee during the 2 week wait, since the odds are i wasn't pregnant. That turned out to be true. This month Ive decided to assume I very well could be pregnant and to cut back on those things. Not down to 0, but a lot. (at most it's 100 cells- not eating yet, right?) I also finally bought something called "prenatal vitamin". I had been superstitious about that too. Funnily enough, the ingredients are exactly the same as those in my normal multivitamin. I feel like it's different this month. I've felt my uterus more, but even before the IUI so that may not mean much. My boobs are sore today. It's only day 4, so looking for symptoms is crazy. I go on vacation in 2 days- swimming, massages, yoga! No sauna though,or hot tub. I'm assuming there's a little cell sack in there that wouldn't like the heat. Went back to acupuncture yesterday is very relaxing. Now my Qi is arranged, but I forgot to make my next appointment.

IUI

IUI yesterday. The ovulation test was pink, not red, but I decided to go for it. My ovaries were tinge-y and I was worried I'd miss it. It was day 15 and I had the senior doctor since mine was on vacation. I guess it went ok. He said something about there being "overflow" and so he left the speculum in contact with my cervix for a while. That seemed weird. Did he not shoot it all in? Who knows. I have to say, I'm feeling positive. I like the idea of it working without drugs. Maybe the acupuncture just puts me in a good mood? I already feel kind of full. I wonder why my ovaries were so noticeable for the past 4 days when I wasn't on any drugs to swell them? Maybe the previous months of medicine stay in one's system? Work's busy. It's hard to come up with reasons to miss so many days.

Day 13

The dr said the follicle was 14mm Friday, so to do the ovulation tests and if no sign, to trigger Monday for Wednesday. The timing of that seems to have more to do with his schedule than mine. He's on vacation Monday and tuesday. I didn't test yesterday, since I can't go in Sundays, but that was a mistake because it would be good to know I didn't miss it. Otherwise I'm paying $1350 for nothing. So hopefully the test will turn red today or tomorrow. If not,null trigger tomorrow, but with doubts. How does the trigger shot work if you were about to O anyway? The dude I so etimes sleep with was here last night. He couldn't get it up. That's always frustrating, but it's more complicated when you also want sperm and timing..

Needles

Typing is hard tonight. I went to my first session of acupuncture. It was cool, but the needle between my thum and index finger hurt and my thumb still hurts. It's aimed at fertility, but the lady doing it is trying to get pregnant and she went to consult an aryuvedic dr... Ultrasound today looks good dr says to trigger Monday for Wednesday. Oh test may put it sooner, and then my dr is out of town so I'd doit with the more established guy.

More views of my hoo hoo

The dr wants me to go in for another ultrasound Friday. At this point I think I'm paying his mortgage! What will we see with an u/s that we couldn't know with the ovulation pee strips? I suspect he wants me to come in so he can talk to me about upping the drugs. I'm ok with that. I don't look forward to paying $250 for the conversation. I was just on vacation with family and it made me think I want a partner and family. I just don't know how to make it happen. Maybe the baby isn't working because I'm supposed to find the man first? But there's no time! I'm dieting. I still hope the post-baby discovery of a nice divorced dad could work out. I'm trying my first round of acupuncture this week.

But wait

I realize now I don't have to wait until August. I can try again this month, I just can't use the drugs. But I can wait for ovulation, and if it occurs naturally, I can go ahead next week. I'll call dr tomorrow and see what he thinks. Wouldn't it be nice to succeed without the $1500 injections?