Testing again

It's day 10 so I will take a little LH test today. I'm pretty sure it's not time yet, since the last two months with Clomid have made my ovaries very active at ovulation time and I still feel nothing this month. I slept with someone last night and i have a full condom of fresh sperm in my trash. It is almost tempting to stick it in the fridge, for free access to fresh sperm, but I can't do it. The dude is fine- tall, smart, and apparently not crazy, but still. I don't want him tied to me and my kid at this point. And of course theres the unfairness to him. I was so excited about this guy for a few days, I started to think it was more important for me to form a relationship than to race into babymaking, but no. Now I can take it or leave it. Sex is fun, but everyone is complicated. And once men get to their late thirties, they have a lot of sexual shortcomings. I mean, they learn some stuff, which is good, but when push is supposed to come to shove, there have been issues with the last 3 or 4 men I've known. Who needs it? That initial part is fun, when you first start thinking about someone. But then there's the task of idling a whole day with him. That's not easy. And making plans. I think I missed the boat on finding a man I could live with and love. I found myself thinking about my last real boyfriend, 8 years ago. It's all been bogus since him. And I'm pretty set in my ways. I guess that's why I'm moving forward alone now. I'm pretty sure I'll love a baby.